Ninja Cheerleaders (2008) Reviews

• What, no lesbian scenes?

  dylan_spears_20002008-08-10

  After somehow managing to sit through "Zombie Strippers" (thanks in no small part to the abundance of untethered breasts and jiggly backsides), I attempted to sit through "Ninja Cheerleaders" today, but just couldn't make it. Yes, I was surprised too. I mean, it had all the basic ingredients of a great film - the three lead girls were even community college cheerleaders by day and strippers and ninjas by night, but alas it was still totally unwatchable. Hmmm, perhaps if they had also been lesbian I might have at least made it to the middle of the movie, but I guess that sort of post-production armchair directing is like wishing more things had blown up in "Lost in Translation" and that there had been some hardcore sex in "Breakfast at Tiffany's". I suppose no movie is ever perfect (as those last two examples clearly indicate). Anyway, I hope my inability to sit through "NC" isn't a sign that I'm now exiting my "prepubescent fascination with anything female and jiggly regardless of how badly written, directed or acted" movie stage. It'd really be a shame since that stage has basically been my defining characteristic up till this point and I'm not sure I'd recognize myself without it. Maybe I should watch "Zombie Strippers" again just to check? ;)

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• Stupid but funny

  ronnymiller-12008-08-09

  Seriously this is one of the worst movies ever and yet it is entertaining in a way I can hardly describe. First: The Title. A movie titled "Ninja Cheerleaders" is just a "gotto see this movie" to me. Anyway - the story is incredibly stupid (cheerleader strippers fight to get back the strip club of their ninja master against Michael pare - and to top it, they have to win a strip contest to get money for college....ha ha ha ha). This is a great setting for a really funny but stupid film, but the camera work, the directing work, the music, the actors - everything is just so bad. It is so badly made, it is sometimes hard to watch. But the girls are cute, they are brutal, they beat up everything they can - and then their is Captain Sulu as the master and Michael Pare. I want to like this film - if it was better edited and directed, it be a classic trash one - like this, it is just a film for men, who wanna see babes beat up guys.

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• Ninja Cheerleaders

  Scarecrow-882009-07-03

  NINJA CHEERLEADERS is just that, a film featuring a trio of cheerleaders who have learned martial arts from their teacher, who happens to own a strip joint they dance in! Nope, they never get naked(..these three do look great in lingerie, but their title as strippers isn't accurate), maybe because the actresses involved weren't interested in showing their naked bodies. Why make them strippers then? Why can they not just be ninja cheerleaders? I think it should be a golden rule that if you are a character that strips, nakedness is a necessity..if not, don't be written as a stripper. Not too hard, I think. Anyway, the three actresses seem to be having a hell of a good time in their roles as sexy students(..they obviously revel in their sex appeal)who can kick the asses of all males who look at them as merely chicks to eliminate. Trishelle Cannatella, Ginny Weirick, and Maitland McConnell are the cheerleaders who must rescue their master, George Takei, who has been kidnapped by mobster Michael Paré. Paré wants the strip joint back from Takei, an establishment he lost to the IRS. That's pretty much it. The girls take out whoever is necessary to find their master. Paré sends out the goons to stop them. Director David Presley shoots the fight scenes in ways to avoid actually showing his girls in combat through clever editing or ninja costumes. But, Presley seems more concerned with his alluring three leads, shooting them in ways to express their desirable qualities for the viewing audience..for instance, you get a lot of slow motion as they walk. They are babes who look delectable in cheerleading uniforms, tight jeans or skirts, and in "stripper wear", so Presley highlights their qualities. The film often, from chapter to chapter, features "breaks", a ninja fighting technique, a nude female stripper's tits, moving to the next portion of the story. The film's dialogue is completely tongue-in-cheek and the premise is basic fluff for the males to salivate over. We get our honeys and violence, nothing more or less..the demographic this is geared towards is obvious. Larry Poindexter is a detective, nipping at the girls' heels and Natasha Chang is Paré's hired ninja assassin.

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• It's bad. Seriously.

  tirkkanen2008-08-09

  I thought I should comment on this film, since it's really not as cute as it was probably meant to be. The film revolves around three girls who are determined to get into Brown College. To pay their tuition they strip at a local bar. The owner of the bar is a ninja master who lands into some heavy trouble and of course the ninja cheerleaders get involved. The first thing that's off is just the title: Ninja Cheerleaders. It kind of sums it up. I got fooled by the ninja part. Almost everything in the film is tacky. Plot, writing, directing, lighting, fighting etc. A few of the older actors do deliver nicely, but they can't salvage this shipwreck of a film. The biggest disappointment is actually the poor quality of the fights, since I'm a huge fan of martial arts. I'm thinking that the target audience for this film is young girls who need a strong role-model of a determined successful woman who doesn't need a man. Oh my god, did I really just write that? Another target group is probably teenage boys, who would be better off watching American pie, at least it has boobies in it. P.S. I might ask the film makers what's up with the topless women between scene changes? Of very poor taste and utterly irrelevant...

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• This IS what the title would lead you to expect

  orion_ss12012-02-03

  Are there better B-movies on the market? Yeah, I think so. The title did NOT lead me to expect a Showgirls movie budget. Should George Takei, Larry Poindexter, and Michael Pare have held out for better roles? Maybe, maybe not. I didn't buy this movie based on their names, or the names of the girls ( frankly, I'd never heard the girls names ), but they ARE pretty. This is a B-movie, with B-movie values, and pretty girls with topless scenes ( not enough, but then there rarely are ). It kinda sorta had a plot, with few twists you really couldn't see coming. It is a fun movie. It's not Showgirls; it wasn't meant to be.

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